The Call of the Wild

College was a great time for me. Probably not the way you're thinking though. I was never that frat guy that went to all the parties. I really didn't date very much, so it was not the girls either. My sports career was nearly over after high school-- so nope, not sports. I have a couple great lifelong friends I made in college, but that is about it--I was never the super popular guy.

I enjoyed the freedom I got when I entered college. I enjoyed coming and going as I pleased, and doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

I was blessed to earn a scholarship from the State of Florida as I completed high school. I was doubly blessed because my dad wisely prepared financially for us kids to go to college, and generously paid for all of my tuition and books. What that meant for me was that I got to pocket about $1250 per semester.

I lived at home for free, ate at home for free when I was there, and had my medical/dental, etc. expenses paid for. I worked part-time at the local grocery store, and paid for my car insurance and gas, but had no car payment.

The extra cash led to some great adventures. I bought a dirt bike and learned to ride the trails. I bought fishing and camping gear. I bought guns and ammunition, and all kinds of fun toys men like.

One of my favorite things to do was with my cousin. We would leave on a Friday afternoon and drive his 4x4 north for several hours to a camp his dad (my uncle) owns. Once you reach the dirt road that leads to "Camp," as we called it, you have about an hour of winding, muddy, four-wheeling type roads to get to the actual camp site. All of this we did in the pitch black night. If you have never experienced this, you can't imagine what you are missing. The darkness is enveloping, yet the clarity of the night sky without the city's light pollution creates a sense of freedom from its sheer vastness. Thus began our weekend of campfires, and outdoor cooking, and hunting, and target shooting when the hunting was no good.

It as a simpler time for me. No real responsibility. No real bills. And, an hour's worth of nearly impassible roads insulating me from the world "out there."

Today, when the bill collectors are encircling me like sharks with blood in the water, and home repairs, and auto repairs, and the daily grind starts wearing on me, I can feel something inside of me long for the simplicity that was. Financially, it isn't feasible for me to go gallivanting around in search of adventure. To be clear, I wouldn't really want to go back if I had a chance. Especially if it meant that I would have to undo the choice I've made to marry my beautiful wife, or give up the tremendous blessings that are our children. It's not even a question.

But when life get's complicated and just plain difficult, I do wish for simplicity. And when the stuffiness of life crowds me, I do long for an adventure. Something inside me hears a call to go be "wild" again.

As I thought about this, I came up with a spiritual parallel. As a Christian, my old nature was crucified with Christ, yet that dead flesh will often rear up and try to convince me to go back. I love Jesus and would never go back on Him, but those old sinful patterns of thought/life try to remind me of "fun" I had, and call me to return.

Just as I am compelled to know that this is not the right time for me to spend the family's finances on adventure, I must master the sin that is crouching at my door (Genesis 4). By God's grace, I'll find rest and adventure when I reach Heaven's gate. May we all expend our energy on faithfulness to Jesus until then.

Grace and peace to you.

Irreconcilable Differences (Part 1)

Divorce. A word that should strike fear into any heart, but has become so commonplace that it has almost no impact in society. It has become a mere statistic.

In my daily goings-on I have been confronted by the effects of divorce no less than five times this week alone. I must admit that I am guilty of a certain hardness toward the term, but upon reflection found my heart aching for those involved.

In my last post I talked about the lie that sin always tells. The lie that something other than God is needed. However, it is precisely God that is needed in all things, and especially in the realm of marriage and divorce. Here it is necessary to lay a couple of foundational principles, though in no wise do I intend for this to be an exhaustive study.

First, Genesis chapters 1-2 tell us that God created the man and woman and instituted marriage. He blessed them, told them they were one flesh, and instructed them to cleave to one another. Later we see in the Levitical Law a prohibition against divorce. Jesus, in answering the Pharisees challenge upholds God's righteous standard for marriage (with the provision for divorce being made only for the jilted spouse who has been cheated on). Later, Paul under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit advises that if an unbelieving (non-Christian) spouse leaves (the marriage), let them go. So clearly, God created marriage, expected it to be life-long, but in His mercy allowed for divorce in two extreme cases.

So why does divorce happen? Specifics are limitless, I imagine, but I want to explore a few overarching principles.

1)Failure to recognize and take seriously the permanence of the marriage relationship as outlined above. God made marriage and expects you keep your promise to Him and to your spouse, "'Til death do us part." (Side-note: modern day revisions of wedding vows do not exempt from God's reckoning of marriage as permanent).

2)Unfaithfulness. God forbids adultery in the 7th commandment and even coveting what belongs to your neighbor (note wife on the list). So don't touch her (7th), and don't even think about touching her (10th) (Exodus 20). In addition, Jesus says in Matthew 5 that if a man looks lustfully at a woman, he has committed adultery in his heart. In Proverbs we have a disdainful look at the adulterous woman (she is loud and defiant and her feet never stay at home). And, that chapter states that the one who goes to her is simple (dull, stupid) and lacks understanding. Elsewhere, we are instructed to be satisfied with the physical love of the wife of our youth. And throughout the prophets God calls Israel's spiritual adultery "dealing treacherously with God." Before I move on from here, let me say this... Men: if you are looking at pornography, you are heading toward destruction. Ladies: If you are reading trashy romance novels, watching soap operas, and pining for some false sense of romance you are headed for destruction. And to all: if you are entertaining any kind of intimate emotional relationship with anyone not your spouse, destruction is at your doorstep. The only hope is to repent, break off all unfaithful activities, confess your sins one to another, seek biblical counseling from a trained Pastor, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. This assumes, of course, that I am speaking to a true follower of Jesus Christ. If not, the remedy is the same, but must begin with repentance from your rebellion against God and submission to Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior for the forgiveness of your sins. (I will post more about that at another time-- or you can email me for further clarification).

3) Mean/Harshness-- Men, we are instructed to live with our wives in an understanding way. We are commanded to love them the way Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us. We have a beautiful description of what love is in I Corinthians 13. We are commanded to let our speech be seasoned with grace according to the need of the moment for the building up of the hearer. Further, in Galatians, we have the fruits of Spirit outlined for us. These are characteristics we should be demonstrating if we are indeed followers of Christ. Often, people begin to take each other for granted. They get self-focused, rejecting the command to let each esteem others better than themselves. Instead of patience and graceful speech, we demand our way and verbally accost our spouses for anything we deem a breech of our plans/expectations/needs. Christians, we need to repent of harshness, sarcasm, complacency, anger, mean-spiritedness, and the like. Men, as the leader in the home you need to be setting the example and the overall tone in the home. One final word, these types of behaviors, while painful to be sure, are not grounds for the "victim" to violate principles one and two above.

4)Money- The love of money is the root of all sorts of evil. Those who desire to get rich pierce themselves with many a pang. Love of money can come in many forms. It could be the desire to get rich... the workaholic who is constantly putting his/her family at the bottom of the priorities list so he/she can "get ahead" at work. It could be enjoying spending money too much. An unhealthy focus on things that leads to overspending and heavy debt loads. Eventually, the things break, wear-out, get boring, and never actually satisfy. Eventually, the banks who will say yes to more credit cards run out and all that is left is stuff you don't need or even want anymore; along with a whole lot of debt, resentment, and stress under the debt load. Proverbs warns us not to wear ourselves out to get rich, but to have the wisdom to show restraint. (Note: Proverbs is also replete with prohibitions against laziness. Paul affirms in the New Testament: If a man will not work, let him not eat). Further, Jesus taught us to pray that God would give us this day our daily bread...just enough for now. Further, the Bible is full of examples of how we are expected to share with others to meet their physical needs if we do find ourselves having more than enough. Paul says that he has learned the secret to having much or having little. Finally, he tells us that godliness with contentment is great gain. So, men and women: stop making money your love. Give your love to God (the greatest commandment) and let that love spill over into your love for your spouse.

I conclude with this. Divorce is the result of at least one of the marriage partners violating at least one of the above mentioned of God's principles. The key to strong marriages is a strong relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and a strong commitment to His commands. If this is lacking in your marriage, there is hope. Turn to Christ. Pray that He will forgive you for your sins and grant you strength to obey Him. You cannot force your spouse to comply with God's Word, but you can pray for him or her. And who knows, "By your godly conduct you may win your spouse" to the Lord (faith in Jesus).

I have more to say in the next post.

True Lies...

Really, the truth about lies.

Romans 1:25

"For they (mankind) exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen."

And there it is. The indictment of all mankind. This is the reason we have false religion, cults, humanism, atheism, and sin of every conceivable variety.

Mankind is not on a quest for truth as some would suggest; he is ignoring the truth that is evident. Verse 18 of the same chapter says: "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness..."

The temptation at this point would be to wag an angry finger at those sinners and press on. However, these verses really get at the heart of all sin, especially my own. I have never bowed the knee to a statue of some winged, dog-faced, animistic god; however, when I sin against my Creator I place myself (the creation) on a throne.

We (Christians) of all people have had the image of God restored in us, by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We too once suppressed the truth, but now have the righteousness of God revealed in us, by faith. The lie has been exchanged for the truth. Old things have passed away, behold all things have become new. Jesus came to seek and to save that which was lost (sinners, now Christians). We are washed. We are justified. We are regenerated.

Titus 3:4-6

"But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior."

THAT is THE truth. The King of all truths; The Gospel.

However, we can (and do at times) believe the lie that in creation we will find fulfillment. Phrases like these are sure indicators: "If I could just make more money...it's been a long week, I need to be entertained...if only I had that body, spouse, job, house, education...My life would really be great if..." (The possibilities really are endless). We suppress the truth. Worse, we exchange the truth for a lie. Really THE lie. It's the fundamental lie that has been told in various forms throughout history starting with Eve and continuing to this very moment. Here it is: "Something other than God is needed..."

But when we boil it down, they are things. God alone is eternal, and everything else is a created thing. That is ALL the lie can offer you. Always a thing. It can never last. It can never satisfy. It can never replace God. Even Satan at his most diabolical moment, the temptation of Christ, had nothing to offer except a thing. In Matthew 4, he took Jesus to the pinnacle of the temple in Jerusalem and offered Him all the kingdoms of the world. Satan has this one shot to try to corrupt the Savior. He offers the best fare he can muster... and it is still just a thing. The supposed benefits of sin are just temporary things, and can never satisfy.

Jesus saw through the lie... by His grace I pray we will, too.