Monday, February 15, 2010

What Was I Thinking?!?

I am sitting up late with what appears to be the flu. If this is a rambling mess, I hope you will forgive me.

Today we enjoyed a professional development day at the school, sans students. These are usually days we look forward to because there are no students (weren't you listening?), but secretly hope that the meeting will end early and we will be out the door by shortly after noon.

Not so today. The meeting lasted well into the afternoon, and I stayed for an hour after it ended just to hear the man talk, impromptu. His name is Allen Peu and he has a doctorate in something-or-other, and his overall premise is kind of hard to even put into words. So why was I so riveted?...The depth of thought. I actually commented that I felt like a little kid with floaties on my arms in the deep end of the the pool of thought. The thoughtful, reflective, biblical analysis of our culture, history, church, and Christian school compelled me to pay attention. More than that, I have been lost in reflection upon his concepts since leaving the meeting (it is now past midnight).

I am hard-pressed to give you a specific short version of what has challenged me. I will attempt with this: he challenged our traditions. He exposed our culture. He caused me to think about why we do what we do in ministry, and is there a more effective way to do it? Of course, we keep the main point giving God glory. But how can we do this excellently?

In all of this, I realized that I am not an extremely deep thinker. I used to think I was, but that was my young college student mindset that thought it's deep to wonder out loud if the professor knows anything.

Years, and miles down the road, I have become complacent in my thinking. This has been somewhat necessitated by being a family man. It really does not seem to matter what deep thoughts you could have when you are awakened at three in the morning by a hungry baby. Life becomes routine; diapers, formula, bills, home/auto repairs. I love the little diaper-using, formula-drinking, expense-makers. However, it starts to suck the brain power out of you just to survive it all.

By God's grace, we have survived. Our youngest is four and for the first time in 5 and a half years we are not buying any type of diaper/pull-up/night-time pant thingies. It seems luxurious.

Survival mode is giving way to deeper thoughts about the direction I think God would have us go in the next 5, 10, 25 years. How will I prepare? What will be our focus of ministry as a family unit with growing, grown, and grand kids?

I don't have the answers yet, but I am encouraged that God has prompted me to start asking what I think are the right questions.


Sarah said...

YES! NO DIAPERS!!! True cause for celebration! Not only that, but I am also glad there are people in the Christian community who challenge the way we think and do things. We should never shut off the brain and mindlessly follow the masses (Christian or not).

Love you, hope you feel better soon babe.

Kristin said...

Thanks- you put it well into words- I hate that I can never think exactly how to put it but that was how I felt as well. I loved that we were all challenged to think past the mundane/survival mode. Get better soon!

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